Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Old ass.

So this morning i'm sitting in my car, waiting to go to sleep, just chilling with my shades on, apparently looking like i'm sleeping or dying or something because this old guy comes up to my window, I roll it down, and he's like "you're not trying to do that carbon monoxide are you?" No dummy, you can't kill yourself with carbon monoxide if the car is outside. Also he asked me to turn off my engine to make sure my car doesn't "lurch" forward into his. Really? My car is in park. I know you're old and cute and all but that doesn't make up for the fact that you're effing stupid.

Thursday, March 24, 2011


Not since my bday!? What the hell am I thinking. Well first off i'm thinking i'm pissed because it's effing cold again and yesterday it was shorts and tank weather. And there are flurries. This is bs. If I have to wear a hoodie on opening day i'm going to punch someone in the face. I don't have the patience for this weather. Mother nature must be riding the crimson tide. Well what else is new. Nothing actually..I don't have many thoughts this time. Except you know what makes me mad. People who get so drunk they throw up at the bar. Like literally, there was a dude that threw up next to his chair at the bar. Are you kidding? Grow up. One time I had to clean puke of some bitches table. Not ok. Next time she's really drunk i'm going to crack eggs in her purse.

I'm going to go buy roller blades.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Well, it's my bday. I'm 23, and that sounds really old. I haven't really accomplished much except for being awesome. Anyway, i'm in Florida and it's RAINING. Figures, that would only happen to me. Oh well, i'm going to facebook stalk, update this and drink my delicious salty dog.

On another note, you know what pisses me off? I'll tell ya. I was on the flight to Atlanta sitting comfortably in my isle seat waiting for everyone else to sit their asses down so we can leave and this lady on the other side of the plane, one row behind me seriously took the longest god damn time to sit down, and all the while she was inspecting her seat her ASS was ON my shoulder. It's was disgusting and uncomfortable and I could not get away from it. That sucked.

Florida has been great, except there's this stupid clock in our condo that chimes every hour and every half's pissing me off. That's about all I got for now...tonight is Idol and i'm sure i'll have something to rant about.  I'll leave you with this. :)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Alright I suck

What's up weiners. So my bad and I haven't updated first story to tell is that yes, I met a porn star. Her name is anne marie rios, and no she doesn't deserve to have her name capitalized. Apparently she does some foot fetish shit. That's just weird. So we're on air and she's asking me if I would ever let a guy like lick my feet or something and i'm like bitch, no that shit is weird. And she's like but there are so many nerves in your feet and blah blah blah being all condescending and stuff and I just wanted to be like, girl, do NOT talk down to romp in the sack for a living. I have no respect for her...sorry? No, not sorry, I take that back. She probably makes more money than I will and i'm actually going to school and doing real work while she gets railed for thousands. Whatever, at least I respect myself. She wasn't even that cute...I definitely wouldn't want to watch her flop around all naked. No thanks.

What else is new in this exciting life of mine. Oh well i'm single. Got dumped through text. That's cool and all but it's cool. Next subject...

I hate when the bottom of my pants gets wet whilst walking through rain.

That's all.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Bob Saget

I'm cranky, tired, was a little hungover earlier, but whatever. FIRST EVER Blues game last night. It was AWESOME. I mean we didn't win, but i don't care. First thing i got to experience was a die hard Blues fan. So we're sitting in our seats and this group of 4 people go right below us and they're for real taking their god damn time sitting down. I wasn't gonna say anything,  but the girl behind me sure did. She lays into them like "sit the fuck down dude. I don't pay for season tickets to look at your backs" and all other things. It was GREAT. Anyway, tomorrow is the radio segment and I have a porn start story to tell. Tune in!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I meet weird people...

So listen. I think I might see the weirdest things in my line of work. I mean last friday at the radio station I met a porn star...that story will come later. But anyway, last saturday night at Bobby's this guy gets kicked out for being a drunk fool. Happens all the time right? Well apparently he was pretty serious about getting back into the he starts CHARGING the bouncers, like a freaking bull. So he's not getting back in, he started to try to climb this little ass tree, and then decides to pull off the branches and throw them at "'take that, i'm gonna ruin your tree!" It was quite the sight...

That's it for now bitches.  

Monday, February 21, 2011

Long Awaited...

Ok, so maybe it wasn't long awaited but i'm sure some people would like to hear what I think....maybe not. But i'm gonna do it anyway. Where to start, todays topic is.....BIEBER. I know all of you little homos love the biebs but I don't get it...I mean if it looks like a girl, talks like a should be a girl. And it should be getting it's period sometime soon. Does anyone else watch Idol? There's an amazingly talented 15 year old boy on there but of courseeee he won't get a crazy following...because he's fat. Sorry kid, you're a great singer and all buuuut you're a chubby ginger and I doubt girls are gonna want to jump those nuts.

I'm gonna tear up some commercials now.

Go drink some goldy. I'm audi 3000.